I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
