so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
