Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
