I want to stick my p in your. b.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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