I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
