i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize