So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
we should paint friendship bongs
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
