Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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