I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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