She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
