He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize