I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Panties = found
Randomize
