Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
