So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize