i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
