How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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