DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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