I want to have your abortion
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
