his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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