opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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