I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
