i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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