Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
