I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
What did we do last night that was yellow?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
