have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize