New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
