So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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