I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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