she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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