hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
