how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
