he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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