Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
