Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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