you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
