just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He? As in you personified your dick?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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