we made out on top of his cat.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
