3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
