I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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