Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
