Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
