I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
