You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
