Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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