ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She said her name was "party"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
