She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
