well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize