I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
