as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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