I got chris browned last night
it wasn't lemon gatorade
thus making me awesome and them whores
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize