I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
