why do cheetos always look like penises
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Your cock deserves a montage
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
