Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
