Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
