Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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