my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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