last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
