talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
