I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
