bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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