My friends, they love my intelligence
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
