i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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