Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
