remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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