Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
