Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
