I must be too annoying 4 u.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
